“Is there enough left in our relationship to even go to therapy?”
As a sex (CST) and couples’ therapist (LMFT) in Westport, Connecticut, I often meet with clients who are wondering if there is enough left in the marriage or relationship to even begin the process of therapy. They will often speak to how unimaginable it can seem to envision their relationship being different after so long. I can see the anxiety and fear in their bodies, breathing, and measured responses. They will often ask a question which is so human and understandable: “Can you help us? Do you think it’s too late?”
My response is born in the witnessing of so many couples in Fairfield County and throughout the country, in all manners of distress and pain, over several years. “You just need to be open to the possibility that it can be different. That’s it at this point. You don’t have to be able to imagine what the change would be like or to have any tools for the transformation you are seeking. Can you just have an openness to the possibility that things can change?” If the clients can be open to the idea that the relationship could be different, then we have enough to do meaningful couples work together. While that does not always ensure that the relationship can be restored, it does provide enough space to move forward.
Couples and relationship therapy requires less hope in the initial part of the process than I think many people believe or realize. Whether you are having issues with your physical or emotional intimacy, communication, have become distant and now feel like roommates, or are struggling with navigating the complexities of life together, therapy can be an important part of your healing journey.
As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist as well as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Connecticut, Michigan, Washington, D.C., Florida, and Washington who specializes in couples and relationship therapy, I can help you to find your footing and begin the process of moving forward as a couple. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for a free initial consultation.